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24 December 2013
It is funny looking back what I’d scribbled back then.
It’s funnier introspecting & getting to know how one changes. Aradhana had
been right always. It is me, the seemingly more mature Ayesha, the guru who’s
always counselled every needy soul to happiness about life and the deeper
aspects of philosophy, who has been proven to be the one lacking any grip of
life. Ari always used to say, ‘ Come, on Aiy, you don't even know what you will do in future. All your perspectives might change. We can't predict what we ourselves will do! Forget others! No psychology works, really. When we ourselves can surprise ourselves from what we might do (Hum dhudko chaunka dete hain. k hum kya kar guzartey hain'
It is but also obvious others can change- COMPLETELY
It is but also obvious others can change- COMPLETELY
I'd still not got an
answer to this question.
I was living in the
Manhattan of India- Nariman Point. I had recently read this description
somewhere. Probably it was supposed to be great.
The buses, the Marathi no.s and the Marathi ticket(in an
ironically Cosmopolitan
hub like Mumbai), the rains and more rains and rains,
the cool marine drive, the un-understandable hype about Bandra Worli Sea
link,which I always passed by for me flights or even the Marine Drive for that
matter, the couples, the salwar kameez joggers with Nike sport shoes, the
queen's necklace that was just a semicircular stretch of lights after all or
the beautiful sunset-night look of buildings by Marine Drive that looked like
NewYork. Chaupati seemed too short for a seashore. What's the point if you
can't dip your feet in the water?
'Whoa, this is going
to be a Mumbai Diaries entry in the true spirit of it', I thought as I penned
down my share of thoughts on the hungry paper.
This time it was not
about me, my aspirations, or my thoughts. It was more about the city; Mumbai—The
dream city.
How could I be at a
loss even at an answer to such a simple question? I knew there are people who
could swear they love Mumbai!" I swear!" had come to be a pretty
cliched Mumbaikar probably translation of aai shapath. (Whoever had come to
think of it! Or maybe it really was Aai swear - Mother promise )
Why could I not fall
in love with Mumbai?
'Oh, so you are a
Non-Mumbaikar but you live in the heart of Mumbai, Colaba!' Nishant had said.
About how I felt
about the last couple of months that passed on like flashes and need to be
remembered in flashbacks. About the city through me eyes or me own
self-discovery.
Recently I wasn't
sure on what my biggest fear was. There were so many of them. Which to pick n
choose!
I had given an
answer — a very true one. That was to someone who'd said he could know a person
from answer to this very question.
Whether human
trafficking explained what I was, is in my ‘to
be figured out’ list now.
But recently as I walked
back past Sizzling China and Kareem's I realized I'd often feared what if I get
what I want and then don’t like it.
Even as the words kept
ringing in my mind, getting fed up is not an option. ‘You girls are useless.
Cribbing is not going to solve your problem. Have you tried to know what we do?
Have you tried to explore options?
Do you really know
what you want?
Do you really know
what you want?’
That was the
question.
I knew.
Every now and then
it boiled down to the secret. Same old things I'd read from junior years in
school— Robert Frost. It was easy to throw the job, take whatever it takes
(read give) to just get rid of it.
Never take the easy
way.
I am trying feed burner alternatives. Get your own 👉
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Just bought this after lockdown. Super comfortable for daily wear.
This ring has survived for years! Cabin crew literally gasped, "Where did you get it from, Ma'am!"
Safe nail paints are very important when you're pregnant or cooking, for example, making a dough. We Indians love to eat with our hands too. Let's avoid some chemicals while we are at it.
